# Math Teacher Jokes

Do you like Math Teacher jokes? That's great! We too! Find the funniest Math Teacher jokes below.

### Why should you never trust math teachers who have graph paper?

Because they're always plotting something.

### Back when I was a math teacher, I only taught subtraction

I just wanted to make a difference.

### What does a married math teacher call his bed?

A multiplication table.

### Three school teachers go to a nude beach.

The math teacher, the history teacher, and the logics teacher. Suddenly, the female principal goes by them. So the math and history teachers put their newspapers on their private parts, while the logics teacher puts it on his face. After the principal leaves, the first two ask the logics teacher why he put his paper on his face? She clearly saw your junk! That's the thing, I'm mostly recognized by my face.

### A German student asked his math teacher "do you have a favorite number?"

The teacher replied "nein!"

### My math teacher is terrified of negative numbers.

She'll stop at *nothing* to avoid them.

### I think that my math teacher is a redditor

Because maths is not my strong suit and he always replies to my tests with

> F

### On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month

This is ridiculous!

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

### I hate my math teacher

Shes so mean.

### My math teacher asked me if I was any good at rounding

"Meh" I replied "more or less"

### Math teacher: What is the value of x?

Student: She was my life.

### Have you heard about the constipated math teacher?

He worked the problem out with a pencil.

On a sheet of paper.

### What did the sad math teacher say to his class?

Please

End

My

Depression

And

Suffering...

...well he just said PEMDAS.

### My math teacher from highschool thought she was so smart and intelligent

yet when I graduated, she was still in highschool.

### Math teacher: "What do you call an angle of 90 degrees?"

Me: "Fahrenheit or Celsius?"

### What do you call a terrorist organization of math teachers

Al-Gebra

### My math teacher had a terrible constipation problem...

but he worked it out with a pencil.

### What did the fat math teacher say after a large Thanksgiving dinner?

(√-1)/8!

Edit: I clearly don't know how to math.

### How did the math teacher solve her constipation problem?

She worked it out with a pencil.

### What do my wife and my math teacher have in common?

They both love to create problems that I am apparently supposed to solve.

### I wanted to be a Math teacher.

But in the end it just didn't add up.

### A math teacher ought to be president...

To make America integrate again.

### My math teacher

Staples Burger King applications on failed tests.

### A joke my Math teacher told me

He once asked a fifth grader "Paddy, can you use the word 'geometry' in a sentence?". So Paddy thought up with this answer.

​

"One day, I fell out of a tree and looked at myself realising i'm an acorn. I then got chucked around by some humans and shoved into the dirt. It then started to rain and I started to feel a little bigger. After a couple of months of growing, I looked at myself and thought hard and said 'Gee, I'm a tree'".

### My math teacher hates mixed fractions

I'm guessing that's why what she teaches is improper.

### A math teacher was lecturing his class

Suddenly, the professor popped a question,‘What is ((353.44634×153×15)+799²-285)×69-0.2 equal to?’

The students were really confused, one who was extremely frustrated stands up and yells and slams on his table,‘NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!’ The teacher was impressed and said,‘ Correct, now you can sit down, Adolf.’

### What's a math teacher's favorite TV show?

Sinefeld

### Did you hear about the math teacher who forgot his lunch money?

He buynomeal

### (Disgusting sorry) Did you hear about the constipated math teacher?

She worked it out with a pencil.

### A math teacher went to a kids birthday party and gave him a math book

The kid was eager to open the present, so he opened it in front of his teacher, when he opened the present the kid looked confused and asked “why did you give me a math book?” The teacher answered “It’s the thought that counts”

### Why do math teachers exist?

To make a difference in the world.

### My Italian math teacher made a joke about moving shapes...

Unfortunately the joke was lost in translation.

### Once I heard a story about a math teacher who crashed his Prizm into a 100-year-old oak...

Geo met tree.

### A guy walks into a supermarket

And notices a beautiful blonde who waves at him and says hello. He's rather taken back and doesn't recognize her and asks. "Do you know me?"

To which she replies "I think you are the father of one of my kids."

He panics, and thinks of the only time where he was unfaithful to his wife and says, "omg! Are the stripper that was at my bachelor party that I put on the pool table while all of all my buddies watched and then you and your friend covered me in whipped cream and licked it all off?"

The woman looked at him, wide eyed and said, "no, I'm your sons math teacher."

### Why does the creepy math teacher have depression?

Instead of talking over his problems with a therapist, he likes to describe them with kids.

### What did the armless math teacher have to do in order for his students to understand geometry?

Toe the line....

### In high school my math teacher was secretly a pirate.

All she ever wanted to do was find X.

### My High School math teacher passed everybody.

He gave no F's.

### Did you hear about the constipated math teacher?

He had to work it out with a pencil.

### What do you call a Math teacher that’s a hoe?

It’s the thot that counts.

### My math teacher was feeling depressed.

I told him he should get to the root of the problem quickly before he starts feeling sinusoidal.

### Today my math teacher taught us how to square root -1

It was unreal

### Little Johnny Back Again...

This time, little Johnny's mother had been noticing that his math grades had been steadily declining. She decided to have a chat with Johnny about his disinterest in math, being more responsible with his studies, and the importance of bringing his grade up.

The next quarter ended- Johnny's report card came out, and his math grade was still low. So Johnny's mother decided to call his math teacher in an attempt to get to the root of the problem. Little Johnny's mother was hopeful that Johnny's math grade would finally improve. But to her dismay, his grade had still not improved on his next report card.

In an act of desperation, little Johnny's mother decided to transfer him to the local Catholic school. Immediately, she noticed that when Johnny came home from school, he wouldn't say a word, but would go straight to the table and begin doing his math homework. Johnny's mother was very pleased with this sudden change; and over the course of the next few weeks, it seemed little Johnny's math issue had finally been resolved. Once again, Johnny's report card came; but this time he got an "A" in math.

Johnny's mother was overjoyed- yet a little perplexed. She asked him, "What do they do so differently at the Catholic school that finally persuaded you to change your attitude and bring up your math grade?"

Little Johnny replied, "On the first day of math class, when I looked up and saw that guy hanging from the giant plus sign above the chalkboard, I knew they weren't messing around."

### Just found out that my old math teacher was cross-eyed.

They could never keep control of their pupils.

### A friend was bragging that he shagged his math teacher....

..but he was home schooled!

### A math teacher is teaching his class in a green costume

Halloween was soon, so he and most of the school was dressed up.

He decided to dress up as The Flash, as he was a popular character among the students, but not knowing the character well, he ended up with a green version of the costume.

After a bit of mocking by the students, he began teaching as usual.

After he finishes explaining something, one of his students raises his hand.

"Yes, Lucas?" He says.

"Actually, that's incorrect" Lucas says.

Lucas explains it in the correct way, and then sits back down.

The teacher, flustered, can't think of what to say, but he manages to blurt something out.

"That's impossible!" He says.

"No one can just correct the Emerald Flash!"

### I asked my math teacher if he wanted to rent an apartment with me

Then he went on some tangent about needing a co-sign.

### What do you call a blind math teacher?

Secant

### What did the math teacher call the dumb terrorists?

Simplified Radicals

### Or math teachers made us practice mental calculations because we wouldn't always have a calculator on us.

This post was made on a smartphone.

### My Math teacher asked me if I have learnt about angles

yeah, to a degree

### What's a math teachers favorite clothing brand?

Vans. Because it is the root of the answer.

### Did you hear about the student that hooked up with his math teacher?

She really expanded his natural log.

### TIFU by sending a substitute math teacher to a geography classroom.

Whoops, wrong sub!

### Math teachers have been lying to you.

You're whole life math teachers have said Pi R squared, but that's a lie, My mother maid pie, and Pie are round

### My math teacher said my class failed our quiz

Apparently, everyone underestimated the Linearization questions, and got half of them wrong.

### Where do math teachers go on vacation?

To times square

### Math

Did you know that the average math teacher is *mean*.

### What did the math teacher say when he found his ruler in the boys' locker room?

It smells like a foot.

I'm sorry, LOL. I swear I didn't read this anywhere, it just kinda popped into my head when doing yard work. Haha

### A man is carried into a bar on his 21st birthday.

A man is carried into a bar on his 21st birthday. He has no body parts except his head. The bartender looks at him and says "I have this magical beer that can grant you a wish for every sip!"

The man takes a minute to think. And decides to ask his friend to buy him a bottle of this magical beer. His friend agrees to do so and then gives him a drink. The man makes his first wish:

"I wish for a torso." And a torso slowly grows, being the perfect shape for his size of head. He looks at his friend and says, "Quick! Give me another sip!"

His friend gives him another sip and he makes another wish. "I wish for a arm on either side!"

Two arms slowly grow out of the mans new torso. And he uses these arms to take another sip. And he continues taking sips and making wishes until he has every body part he knows of. He quickly realizes he's naked though, and runs home with the beer.

At first, his life is great. He is always on top of bills, often times he is able to pay three times the price of them. He develops a family, and two years later his wife and he get into an arguement over bills that they've fallen behind. He was about to win the arguement and then he remembers the beer and quickly runs to the fridge.

"It's still here!" He exclaims. As the magical beer is in his fridge with only a sip left.

His wife yells at him, "How will a drink help us now?"

He responds, "You want to be ahead of these bills, honey? Watch." He takes a sip and makes his final wish:

"I wish to be what I was two years ago!" He quickly loses his limbs, torso, and even his neck.

He realizes his mistake and mutters, "I meant my financial position."

His wife gives a snicker and says, "You should've quit while you were ahead."

(Sorry it's so bad. It's a joke that made me laugh on a bad day once and wanted to share it. My old math teacher told me it... or something similar.)

### Why didn't the math teacher sin?

Cosecant.

### THE PLOT THICKENS

**Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.**

### What did the math teacher tree say to the music teacher tree?

Nice log rhythms

### I just feel bad for him.

One of my nephews has suddenly started getting really good grades in math. But I'm not convinced that he has actually started studying.

I know him, he's really dumb and doesn't understand a thing. Plus his gorgeous math teacher has a registered history of having affairs with students. So I'm pretty sure where is this going.

So I went to talk to her about what's really going on and turns out I was right, he is stupid.

He's actually studying instead of sleeping with her.

### some jokes I came up with when I was 10-13 years old

*what does Santa want for Christmas? Hoe Hoe Hoes

*what do hunters like to do? Shoot birds

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*what did the tree say when the math teacher passed by? Gee-I'm-a-tree

### Math teachers don't know proper grammar

I asked one who or what is the most imaginary thing in his opinion.

He said "I is".

### What do math teachers grow?

Geometrees and trigonometrees

### My math teacher says Fractions are a little difficult

But honestly figuring out where the Numerator goes is over the top

### A math teacher in my home country

A math teacher in my home country was just getting into derivatives for the day and was stopped by his loud students. He looked around and found the class clown and told him to "get out"point to the door. After about 10 mins the teacher felt that the student was punished enough and decided to call the student back in. But here is the problem. The teacher didn't know how to say that in English. The teacher had a brilliant idea. He went outside of the class to where the student was and pointed towards the classroom and said "get out". Meaning the student was instructed to get out of the outside of the class and get out into the class.

### How did the math teacher overcome constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

### I told my math teacher I was freezing cold and he told me to go stand in the corner of the classroom.

Because it was 90 degrees.

### What happens when a university math professor and a high school math teacher get it on?

Calculust

### Why do we never run out of math teachers?

Because they are always multiplying.

### My math teacher used to tell me "there's 3 types of people in this world...

those that are good at math and those that aren't"

### I told me math teacher he was like an extraneous solution

He was useless and part of every problem.

### A math teacher invented something.

A math teacher invented the worlds first underwater bulldozer.

He called it his 'Sub-tractor.'

### What is a math teachers favorite plant?

A geometree!!

### Why did the ghetto math teacher eat aquatic plants?

He just liked algae, bruh

### I decided to convert from degrees to radians.

My math teacher was surprised at the π.

### A mother is worried about her son obsessing over the difference between sine and cosine

When she shares it with his math teacher, she just laughs it off and assures her, "don't worry, it's just a phase."

### Why was Fermat depressed?

Because his math teacher just told him his parents were both squares.

### How did the math teacher make beer?

He put root beer into his square glass

### So my math teacher asked what I did over Thanksgiving...

(√-1)/8

### Where does a math teacher go on vacation?

**Times** Square

### I took pi to Idaho, Kansas and Utah ....

My math teacher always told me to take it to three dismal places

### My girlfriend got D for Christmas

from her Math teacher.

### Johnny, I heard you are really fast at mental math, right?

"Yes, sir."said little Johnny.

"Well, how about you tell me the answer of 27x74?"said the math teacher.

"679"Johnny replied immediately.

"Wow, impressive. Let's see…it is not correct at all!"

"Fast, isn't it?"

(Traslated)

### What's a math teacher's favorite drink?

Root beer

### My math teacher told me I need to do more exercises with fractions

I don’t understand why, I had 4/3 of the questions correct

### my math teacher is a perv

he keeps getting off on tangents

### There was a math teacher and his student named Juan.

Teacher: *Erases decimal point from the board*

Ok class, where is the decimal point now?

Juan: It's on your eraser sir.

The teacher gets angry and decides to give Juan a punishment.

Teacher: Juan step out of the classroom!

Juan: Sir do you really think that I can get out of the classroom in just one step?

### What does a math teacher say when they leave?

calc-U-LATER

### My math teacher apologized to me for wrongly claiming that there are no geometric shapes with just two straight edges

But I said, "let bigons be bigons".

### Why was the perverted math teacher arrested?

He got caught trying to put 42 into 17.

### I ran into an old math teacher the other day and I guess he was astonished at how well I'd turned out

He asked "Look at you! How did you do it?"

I said "I used that old formula, 'Me' times 'I Can'."

And he replied "Is that why you're wearing a serape?"

### Earlier today I asked my Math Teacher how to calculate the area of a circle...

He then told me that pies are squared. I walked away asking myself asking myself how I could have such a stupid math teacher. Can’t even tell me how to calculate the area of a circle...

### My math teacher said I was doing average in math

That felt mean, because I thought I was doing intermedian in math, but I guess measures of center isn't really my mode of math.

### [MATH] Eric: Dad, I really hate my math teacher. The topic was about circles & he can't properly explain how he got his 2 Pi...

Dad: Probably where I got mine son.

*Yes, it's real*

### I had to go talk to my math teacher since I missed the lesson on radicals

Glad I got everything squared away.

### I asked my math teacher what her favorite food is

She said pa-θs